Finally, we've got the investor's edition of Celebrity Rehab -- Nasdaq OMX (NDAQ) announced today it's launching a new index to track companies which have received a bailout from the U.S. government, whether via TARP funds or other programs. The benchmark will be called the Nasdaq OMX Government Relief Index (QGRI), and it consists of companies from various industry groups that have received a direct investment from the government worth $1 billion or more.

In other words, traders can now track the progress of such bailed-out barons of industry as American International Group, Inc. (AIG) and General Motors Corp. (GM) through one convenient investing vehicle. NASDAQ OMX Executive Vice President John Jacobs says the QGRI "will be useful in helping investors evaluate the government's investments and the impact of the relief plan on the economy during this period of historical significance."

So far, the Bailout Bunch isn't doing too well. Since it started trading on Jan. 5, the benchmark has slipped some 4.7%, and fell today to a new all-time low of $937.37. However, the QGRI has moved off its early lows to add 5% in the first hour of trading.

While I think the QGRI is both a novel and useful concept, I can't help but be disappointed that it doesn't have a saucy wink of a ticker -- such as the Claymore/MAC Global Solar Index (TAN), or Peabody Energy (BTU), or even Sotheby's (BID). Although, from a marketing standpoint, I suppose a ticker like FAIL might discourage more than a few investors...